Alison's Breast Cancer Diary Feelings after diagnosis, surgery, and chemo-therapy 28 March 2007 Since starting to write my story I have heard about people I don't know reading it who are keen to follow my progress. I heard today that staff in a major NZ insurance company are telling each other about it and yesterday my personal fitness coach asked me if Fiona had contacted me. Not yet. Hello Fiona. I believe you also have breast cancer. I hope you clobber it.
Today I was talking with a clinical psychologist at Wellington Hospital and I mentioned my diary. She asked if she could tell others who are going through the cancer experience if it was o.k. to refer them to it. I said I welcomed readers. She said I might get people contacting me and I replied that I would be delighted to communicate with as many people as I am able to. This is one way that I can give back. Everyone I have met who has experienced cancer has been supportive to me and it's my turn to support others. I welcome the opportunity. Note: I 'm a very fortunate woman to have a loving and supportive family, many wonderful friends, clients, and business associates. To all of you who have offered your support through various ways; flowers, cards, e-mails, phone calls, outings etc. I thank you. You have motivated me to get well and get on with life. A significant part of the story you are about to read is comprised of e-mails from and to my friends. To protect their confidentiality I have referred to them either by their initials or Christian names only - unless they have agreed to having their names mentioned. Personal or business issues have been removed from the e-mails, hence, the brevity of some of them. Sometimes you will read.....etc.... when you read this it means that we were talking about other matters. After there has been e-mail dialogue I make the first sentence in the next paragraph bold so that you know I am back to communicating with you, the reader, rather than the person in the e-mail. I have received some positive feedback from this writing. Someone suggested that all women with cancer would like to read it. Sue Duncan from New Plymouth had her mastectomy just a week after I had mine. She read my story at home and cried and cried while quaffing a bottle of Pinot Noir with her husband. "This story has helped her to grieve and also consider options about chemo therapy treatment. and she suggested that all women would be interested. Johnny, my personal trainer reckons Richard should also contribute from time to time as he is the primary care giver. He has never complained about the extra chores he does around the house. The fact that I hardly ever cook, or that my absences from the office due to chemo therapy, appointments with medical specialists, and time out due to sickness has prevented me from being up to date with my work is something we both have to accept. We can only do our best based on our abilities at this time.
The primary caregiver can suffer and feel left out. He too needs nurturing and positive affirmations. He was hurting and grieving as much as I was after the cancer diagnosis. When he saw me suffer from the pain of the surgery the grief of the loss of my breast he felt deeply sad for me. The only thing he could do was to support me and think about what was happening. It follows that many care givers will be frustrated by a feeling of powerlessness and they would be interested in knowing how to provide support without wearing themselves down. The caregiver needs to stay healthy and positive. Useful websites www.cancerhelp.org.uk Alison Renfrew - Profile Alison Renfrew - Financial Planner of the Year Alison coping with cancer |