Alison's Breast Cancer Diary
Feelings after diagnosis, surgery, and chemo-therapy

4 December 06 - Dream building and appreciation for life
Richard and I drove from our holiday home at Mt Lyford, past Hanmer Springs, and over the Lewis Pass because we felt like a scenic detour on our way to Nelson. From Nelson we drove on to Motueka to visit a friend for lunch prior to driving to Picton. 

In total we drove for 8 hours that day and had plenty of time to talk about the changes we would make to our business, our house renovations, and travel plans for 2007.

Digression on my retirement philosophy
Our lives are very fulfilled.  We have worked hard to build a successful business.  It has been independently researched and was identified as being in the top 5% of financial planning firms in New Zealand.  You don't get these results without hard work.  We worked hard and now enjoy the lifestyle and rewards that come from running an established business.

Now that we are financially positioned so that we can retire my goals for the future have moved from thinking of retirement to funding my grandchildren through private schools.  When we are at Mt Lyford we practice being retired.  We potter in the garden, read books, go for day trips to Christchurch, Kaikoura, or Hamner Springs, and have long walks in the Mountains. In the evenings we have barbeques and watch the sun set in the distant hills. It's very quiet.  Only the birds sing.  There are no cars, no TV's, no radios, no cell phone reception.  Just quiet bliss.  It's such a beautiful place.  It is an idyllic lifestyle. After a week or two we will come back to Wellington and every time we say "That was fun.  Let's not be retired.  It seems such a waste of time and we are just not ready to fritter away the hours in a day".  Retirement is for the elderly and I 'm inclined to think that a reasonable retirement age would be around 80 years providing we keep good health.

Nearly every retired person I have spoken to who had a dynamic, stimulating job that was more a hobby than a necessary income generator talks of their working years wistfully and seem to wish they still had them.  Our attitude is, what is the point of retirement?  It should only come when you are unable to work any longer due to disability, not redundancy.

A poignant example of retirement is Mr Patel's situation.  He is a diary owner.  I am not breaking his confidentiality because throughout New Zealand there are hundreds of Mr Patels who work hard in dairies.

When he first came to me he said he and his wife were tired and wanted to stop working.  They have worked for more than 15 years in their diary; 14 hour days, and have never had a holiday.  It is time he retired and I showed him that he is able to based on the significant net worth he has accumulated over the years.  The big problem he and his wife now face is fear.  They are so used to working the hours they do that they are nervous to stop even though they know from a financial perspective they can.  They have the fear of suddenly having empty lives and not working hard.  They have to take a paradigm leap to change from their current situation to a new one which they can't yet envision.

So there we were on the 4th December having had a lovely time in the South Island.  I needed to come back to Wellington because I had an appointment with the Breast Surgeon in Lower Hutt.  From my perspective this was only to confirm that that the thickening in my breast was something that women my age, 51 at the time can develop.  It's sort of a pre-menopausal thing. In retrospect I think 'talk about thick '.  I won't be too harsh on myself because earlier in the year a nurse at the medical centre felt the thickening and agreed if felt like a thickening.  Maybe I should be angry with the nurse.  I have since read that whenever you see changes like this you should immediately check for cancer.  I didn't know that then.  Very often breast tissue thickening is just that and that is what the nurse concluded as well.  I should tell the medical centre this.  They might be able to save lives by being more pro-active.  I 'm not angry.  There is no point in wasting energy on being angry.

Useful websites
www.cancerhelp.org.uk 

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