Alison's Breast Cancer Diary
Feelings after diagnosis, surgery, and chemo-therapy

Life After Chemo and Weight Loss 

24 June.  Time flies.  Last Monday Richard, Dad and I returned from our cruise in the Pacific islands.  We visited Vanuatu and New Caledonia.  It was nice to be away and nice to be back.  Two days north of New Zealand there is warmth in June.  We came back to much of the country being closed down due to very heavy snow falls. 

Richard said today that my cancer story is over now and I can stop updating this diary.  I am well and no longer have the feeling that poison is in my body although it probably is still.  I said that there was still more story.  The challenge, or this chapter in my life, isn't over yet.  The day after our return from the cruise I did two things.  Firstly, I booked my surgery for the end of the year in November.  Secondly, we joined Weight Watchers.   My feeling is that the reconstructive surgery is the 'completion' of my cancer journey.  I need to get my body patched up.  It is important to me that I am as close to my ideal body weight that I can be by November.  22 weeks to surgery - one kilo per week - 22 kgs to my ideal body weight.  It's possible. 

A little voice of logic in my brain keeps saying:  "Hey you got through 21 weeks of chemo, you sure as heck can get through 22 weeks of eating healthily".  I know that we plateau from time to time when we are trying to lose weight but let's see.  Johnny at the gym has been coaching me throughout my chemo sessions.  Now that I am well all of the time I can exercise more intensively.  I have been walking the dogs 3 kilometres a day almost every day.  In addition to this I am now seeing Johnny twice a week and am including serious cardio work as well as the weight training.  Finally, the Cancer Society has swim classes to help people at my stage get back into shape so I will enrol for these as well. 

I am committed to doing the best I can to shed 1 kilo per week based on the above exercise plan and keeping to 20 points per day.  There's a challenge.  A slice of toast is two points and peanut butter adds another two points.  4 points is almost a meal and there are far better meals out there than this one.  Following this points regime is fascinating.  Richard is being fed the yummiest meals and his weight is decreasing nicely along with mine.  It seems he only needs to watch me being aware of what I put in my mouth and he loses weight.  My mantra in my mind is "A kilo a week.  I 'm giving away a kilo a week".  It's important not to say "I 'm losing a kilo a week because sometimes we find things we lose and my excess weight is something I don't want to find.  No, I want to donate this surplus stored  energy back into the universe. 

All the time I am focusing on being health conscious just for today.  Looking at the whole 22 weeks is a long time but I have my cancer experience to remind me of breaking it down into 3 week periods and then getting through one day at a time.  There are definitely good days and bad days.  Some are a breeze and others are painful.  The two main reasons I have become fat are that I work long hours and at the end of the day Richard and I have not planned ahead for our meals.  Consequently we eat out too often either by purchasing fast food or dining out.  Not only is this part of our lifestyle bad for our health it is also bad for our finances - what a waste of money.  This bad habit of ours has been kicked in the butt.  It's history. 

The other reason for my state of morbid obesity is that my social and work life has revolved around eating.  So often I have asked clients to meet for Hot chocolates, cake, lunches, or dinner.  Then we are invited out by others.  We go to conferences and meet up with friends.  Wherever we go there is always lovely wine and delicious food available.  Change your attitude lady.  Not only do I want to be slim so that I will have the best results for my extreme makeover at the end of the year but remember my dear friend Reena said my cancer loves oestrogen and the best way to make sure it doesn't come back is to be skinny (well less fat than I am at the moment).  why?  because the fat cells make oestrogen.  If I 'm not motivated now to achieve this goal, which is surely not nearly as challenging as getting through chemo, then I need to accept the fact that I will never achieve it.  I 'm motivated so let's see how the next 22 weeks pan out.  Goals need to be clearly defined, realistic and have a time frame.  My goal is very specific, challenging, and has a specific time frame.  I will be 22 kilos lighter by mid November 2007.  I will do this by adhering to the eating and exercise programme I have developed with experienced professionals.  My reward will be my new body makeover and the wonderful feeling of achievement.  I read once that whatever you  vividly imagine, sincerely believe, ardently desire, and enthusiastically act upon will inevitably come to pass. I 'm doing this. I just need to focus, focus, focus - say the mantra Al.

I 'll update this diary from time to time but not as frequently as I did for the first part of my cancer journey.

Useful websites
www.cancerhelp.org.uk 

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